Glee Meme, Day 20: Favourite Quote

Glee really knows how to do it with the quotable quotes, here’s a bunch that come to mind immediately.
               
#25: Episode: “Journey”
Puck: “Life’s a bunch of experiences. You don’t get a medal at the end of the finish line for being good, you just get dead.”

#24: Episode: “Pilot”
Mercedes: “Look, I’m not down with this background singing nonsense. I’m Beyonce, I ain’t no Kelly Rowland!”

#23: Episode: “Bad Reputation”

Puck: “I try to be a good guy. I go to school and I say Be nice, Puck. But by second period I’ve got a fire extinguisher in my hand and I’m spraying some dweeb with it and I don’t know how I got there.”

#22: Episode: “Sectionals”
Brittney: “Sex isn’t dating...if it were Santana and I would be dating.”

#21: Episode: “The Power of Madonna”
Sue: “Madonna! Simply saying her name aloud makes me feel powerful, even in voiceover. How I have worshipped her ever since I was a little girl. Sorry Angie Jolie, Katharine the Great – Madonna is THE most powerful woman to have ever walked the face of the earth.”

#20: Episode: “The Rhodes Not Yet Taken”
Puck: “That wheelchair kid’s right. That Rachel chick makes me want to light myself on fire – but she can sing.”

#19: Episode: “Mash-Up”
Sue: “I will go the animal shelter and get you a kitty-cat. I will let you fall in love with kitty-cat. And then on some dark cold night I will steal a way into your home and punch you in the face!”


#18: Episode “Bad Reputation”
Emma: “Will can I talk to you for a second?”
Will: “Oh, hey Em. Can you give us a sec?”
Emma: “Actually no, I can’t give you a sec. You’re just gonna have to reschedule your heavy petting session with Ms. Carlyle for a later time.”
Will: “Emma!”
Mrs. Carlyle: “I beg your pardon, I was just telling Mr. Schuester about how my husband recently died!”
Emma: “Wow! Getting them fresh off the rebound now, aren’t you? Amazing! Nobody is safe! Nobody is safe!”

#17: Episode: “Funk”

Sue: “And, though I completely loathe you – you’d make a great trophy husband!”

#16: Episode: “Mash-Up”
Puck: “That night I had the strangest dream. I knew it was a dream because there’s no way Rachel could have climbed up the wall outside my window with no shoes on. When I woke up I knew it was more than a dream. It was a message from God. Rachel was a hot Jew, and the good lord wanted me to get into her pants.”

#15: Episode: “Bad Reputation”
Sue: “Will, I may buy a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby’s ass.”

#14: Episode: “Funk”
Puck: “Everyone knows this is gonna come down to me – revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain – these are MY kingdoms!”

#13: Episode: “Vitamin D”
Rachel: “What America needs right now is sunshine and optimism. And also angels.”

#12: Episode: “Throwdown”
Sue: “Look at me; even in the heat of battle I’m so elegant – regal. I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior.”

#11: Episode: “Laryngitis”
Sue: “So you like Showtunes. It doesn’t make you gay, it makes you awful.”

#10: Episode: “Funk”
Sue: “That's what they said about a young man in Chicago from 1871 who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.”

#9: Episode: “The Power of Madonna”

Santana: “Look Finn, it’s high time you lost the big V. Everything about you screams virgin, you’re a about as sexy as a cabbage patch kid! It’s exhausting to look at you!”

#8: Episode: “Mattresses”
Sue: “All I want is just one day a year where I’m not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off.”

#7: Episode: “Laryngitis”
Puck: “I feel like that guy that lost all his hair and then lost all his strength.”
Santana: “Sampson?”
Puck: “No, Agassi.”

#6: Episode: Laryngitis”
Rachel: “I’m like Tinkerbell, I need applause to LIVE!”

#5: Episode: “Bad Reputation”
Jesse: “Do me a favour. If we end up next to each other on the barre at ballet club this week, just do your arabesques and piques in silence. Don’t talk to me!”

#4: Episode: “Funk”
Sue: “You know for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming back. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of itchy, highly contagious talent!”

#3: Episode: “Vitamin D”

Teri: “Oh you may think there’s some sort of competition going on between you and I, but that’s like saying that a nail is in competition with a hammer. Do yourself a favour honey, marry Ken Tanaka. Oh sure, he’s dumb like sand and his fondue pot of nationalities is gonna open your kids up to a host of genetic diseases. But he’s kind, and he’s generous. And he’s available.”

#2: Episode: “Preggers”
Sue: “You know there’s a question I get asked a lot, whether I’m accepting an honorary doctorate or performing a citizen’s arrest. People ask me, Sue, what’s your secret? Well, I’ll tell you my secret Western Ohio. Sue Sylvester’s not afraid to shake things up. You know I’m tired of hearing people complain, I’m riddled with this disease or I was in this Tsunami. To them I say, shake it up a bit, get out of your box. even if that box happens to be where you’re living. I’ll often yell at homeless people, Hey, how’s that homelessness working out for you? Give not being homeless a try. You know something, Ohio? It’s not easy to break out of your comfort zone. People will tear you down, tell you you shouldn’t have bothered in the first place. But let me tell you something, there’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you, you do that and someday they will.”

#1: “Dream On”

Bryan Ryan: “Sue, you’re an impressive woman. I can’t tell you how much you turn me on right now. You ever heard of the term anger sex?”
Sue: “The only kind I know, Bryan.”
Bryan Ryan: “I should tell you, I’m married.”
Sue: “Not a problem for me.”
Bryan Ryan: “And I’m still cutting half your budget…”
Sue: “Ah, you win some you lose some.”
Bryan Ryan: “Should I lock the door?”
Sue: “No I got a secret room upstairs…like Letterman!”
                       
So, Sue and Puck win for quotable actors and “Funk” and “Bad Reputation” win for quotable episodes. Have you ever had any Glee quotes stuck in your head?