I Can’t Make Review This Movie

I resent the current state of affairs that made me wary about seeing Nine. Sure, I’m not one to quake and  I do often go against the crowd – just see my reviews of The Lovely Bones and Up in the Air and you’ll get the picture. It’s probably because 8½ was everyone’s drawing board for reviewing Nine, one of those timeless classic – yadda, yadda ya. Truthfully I’m not too fond of 8½. Granted, I’ve seen it once but other than a lovely Anouk Aimee I wasn’t too invested. Then there’s the fact that other than the visual parallels (which are admittedly milked too much) I never thought Nine was an adaptation of 8½ anyways. It’s like criticising West Side Story for not being faithful to Romeo & Juliet. It isn’t. It’s based on a Broadway play in turn inspired by Romeo & Juliet. The same goes for Nine. But I don’t want to start this out as a defence. I’m too prone to rebuttal and we can’t all like the same things – still, this was putting me in a bit of a quandary. I’m  experiencing the critical version of Guido I suppose, I’m suffering from a block. So – instead of a review - a list!

                   

I WORSHIPPED – the music. Naturally. I like Maury Yeston, he’s a poor man’s Stephen Sondheim , yes, and Nine is his piece de resistance. It’s a shame that some of my favourites were cut but each of the ten songs is beautiful to me. Even "Folies Bergeres" which always irritated me from the Broadway Cast sounds lovely here.                 

I ADORED – Carla and Luisa and Claudia. They’re the three women most important and I suppose each is perfectly cast. Certainly Marion Cotillard is the best, but Penelope is not  that far behind. She’s no worse than the company she keeps in that Oscar nominated batch, I only hope StinkyLulu has a space for me in his smackdown so I can salvage the imminent 2s and 3s she’ll be getting. Claudia was never a big role, but don’t tell Nicole that – she plays it like a lead, and that’s what any Diva does. She sings "Unusual Way" in an alto which is more haunting that Laura Benanti’s mellifluous soprano.

                       

I LOVED – "Be Italian". I’m glad they took out the line "Be Italian" you rapscallion and vocally Fergie is the best Saraghina I’ve heard and she’s easy on the eyes.

             

I GREATLY APPRECIATED – all things technical. Lighting, cinematography, costumes, hair and makeup and set design were all splendid.

           

I LIKED VERY VERY MUCH – Judi and Daniel. I’m probably alone on both counts. "Guido’s Song" just may be my favourite number and I just love how Daniel enunciates his words. When he sings "I Can’t Make This Movie" I wondered how anyone could doubt him… and Judi, darling Lilli Judi is great, as per usual. People recognise Streep isn’t doing her best work but love her nevertheless. It’s a shame the same can’t be said for Judi. She’s awesome, I like her French.

                             

I LIKED (with slight reservations) – Sophia and Kate. I like "Cinema Italiano", so I won’t go there. Stephanie is superfluous, but I can see what they were aiming at. Sophia just has to look majestic and Italian, and of course she does. I would have preferred if she’d actually song the song "Nine", but "Guarda La Luna" is a pretty number.

               

I DISLIKED – the cutting of "Simple". I know, songs will be cut (see above) but Carla needed an emotional number, it’s a pity they wanted to turn her into comic relief only.

                       

I DID NOT APPRECIATE – the story. The runtime is standard for a film, but it all flies by and so much more could have been addressed. The subplot of Guido’s childhood could have been explored so much more and though “The Bells of St. Sebastian” is not my favourite number it is necessary, though I suppose it is more of a “stage” number.

I UNDERSTOOD (but did not love) – Marshall’s approach. It’s not just Chicago redux, you can’t sing a number like "Folies Bergeres" in real time, it’s obviously fantastical. His attempts at making Nine a literal world of Guido is obvious, but more could have been done to focus on his indecisivenes and his growth as a man - sans women.

                    

I’m alone for the most part, but what’s new? Nine is imperfect, but it is inspired. I’m waiting for Marshall’s next musical since this is not the film from Hell that it’s been touted as and though he needs to bring all his talents together I know he can make something excellent in the future. His problem is not that he's a bad director, his problem is that he doesn't know to combine his talents. My prayers are with him, I hope the backlash doesn’t destroy his career.

B+
            
PS. Don't forget to play the GAME.