The Onion News Network Interviews 5-Year-Old FAST FIVE Screenwriter

If it seems like the script for Fast Five was written by someone who didn’t have an education level higher than kindergarten, there’s a reason for that.  As the Onion News Network shows on their morning news show, Today Now!, the screenwriter behind the series is 5-year-old Chris Morgan.  After the jump watch the adorable Chris talk about his process in crafting the rich and detailed story behind a Fast and Furious movie.  And the youngster is already at work on a sixth film which may ditch the racing and focus more on heists.  Adorable!

Fast Five stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, and cars going boom.  It opens this Friday.

I’m just kidding about the whole “script was written by a 5-year-old” thing.  I don’t even think Fast Five has a script.  

Here’s the official synopsis for Fast Five, although I prefer young Chris’ description:

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker lead a reunion of returning all-stars from every chapter of the explosive franchise built on speed in Fast Five. In this installment, former cop Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) partners with ex-con Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) on the opposite side of the law. Dwayne Johnson joins returning favorites Jordana Brewster, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Tyrese Gibson, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Matt Schulze, Tego Calderon and Don Omar for this ultimate high-stakes race. Since Brian and Mia Toretto (Brewster) broke Dom out of custody, they’ve blown across many borders to elude authorities. Now backed into a corner in Rio de Janeiro, they must pull one last job in order to gain their freedom. As they assemble their elite team of top racers, the unlikely allies know their only shot of getting out for good means confronting the corrupt businessman who wants them dead. But he’s not the only one on their tail. Hard-nosed federal agent Luke Hobbs (Johnson) never misses his target. When he is assigned to track down Dom and Brian, he and his strike team launch an all-out assault to capture them. But as his men tear through Brazil, Hobbs learns he can’t separate the good guys from the bad. Now, he must rely on his instincts to corner his prey…before someone else runs them down first.